When the Blonde Brigade decides to do something, we always do it in the up-most, classiest fashion. Not too long ago, we made our way to Hollywood to celebrate the birth of Lisa Johnson. The conversations that occurred between our two Queen-sized beds and Meredith’s signature roll-away on Saturday morning were only a glimmer of what the day had in store for us….
After a cab ride from h*ll, the five us miraculously ended up on Rodeo Dr. First things first, in true BB style, we sat down to a nice lunch and a few rounds of sippies – in hopes of heightening our retail courage. We weren’t really aware that Meri was on such a mission – let alone the fact that she had packed her new credit card – the one with a $17,000 limit (the three of us should really go back and rethink our college major choices).
First stop… Jimmy Choo. After 15 minutes of musing around the store, Meri had a brand new, one-of-kind, black purse bagged and was half way out the door. While Meri was making her purchase, Sav and I were getting the 4-1-1 on the hot-spots to hit up on the way back to the Hotel Roosevelt from two ladies that were loaded with Jimmy Choo gift certificates. I mean for what occasion do people even get JC gift certificates?
The birthday girl pipes up as we walk out of the store and decides that all she wants for her birthday is for us girls to get matching Nike shoes and pub-crawl back to the Roosevelt- which is located about 10 miles away.
Group Consensus = “Let’s do it… but we might need another drink before we get to NikeTown.”
Next stop… the Luxe Hotel for another round… and Chanel for some new shades.
After scaring all of the employees in NikeTown with our tipsy-fied banter and frivolous ideas, each of us picked out a pair of matching shoes. Bri, always on the lookout for a potential suitor, couldn’t imagine rocking her Nikes with her town-gown, so she ended up purchasing a whole new outfit to compliment her new kicks.
Naturally, the rest of us just put our shoes on and rolled with what we had on – and boy did we look good (subject to opinion)!
Let the Nike-Sponsored (in truth… Lisa-Sponsored) Pub Crawl begin!
First stop…. “The BLVD” bar at the Beverly Hills Wilshire… for a few more “bites and booze”. Here we routed out our plan of attack for the remainder of the night. As a side note, it was in the bathroom of the Wilshire that Meri and Bri saw a woman making herself throw up in the sink, and so from here on out the act of someone making themselves throw up is referred to by us as the “Wilshire”.
We decided that the walk from Beverly Hills back to Hollywood was a bit longer than we had first imagined so we hopped in a cab and got a ride to Sunset Blvd and San Vicente. Our cab driver sorted through all of hollering and took it upon himself to drop us off at the Saddle Ranch Bar and Grill. If you know us, you know that this is one of our favorite types of environments to let loose, complete with a mechanic bull, cowboys and of course NASCAR.
Despite being full and completely hydrated, we indulged in several more rounds of drinks, finger-foods, laughs and even a cotton candy birthday cake for Lisa.
We knew Meri was serious about her NASCAR when she asked the waiter to put it on the TV nearest us and took out her prescription glasses to read the stats. We didn’t here from here again until she was satisfied with her “driver’s” rank.
When she did decide to join the conversation, she proclaimed that she would one day marry a Nascar driver. I believe the phrase “NASCAR turns me on” came out of her mouth at one point or another.
Bri got her chance to ride the bull and managed to stay on for about 20 seconds, which is a personal best for her.
About 4 hours since the five us and all of our Nike bags had been dropped on the curb of the Saddleback Ranch, we thought it was time to “crawl-on.” As we made our way down Sunset Blvd (not even knowing if we are walking in the direction of the Roosevelt) people are stopping to ask us about our shoes.
What better time for a story? Savannah takes advantage of the opportunity and begins to articulate her story (which is normal as a night like this progresses)… “We’ve been sponsored by Nike to do a pub-crawl…” and the best part was – people bought it!
To make a long story short, we even ran into Jesus along the way!
Being that I am a self-diagnosed, PEOPLE.com whore, I have always dreamed of going to the Chateau Marmont and I am proud to say that my dreams became a reality on this very night!
We were there only a short while but I thoroughly enjoyed every second of it. This is due in large part to the “fact” that we were not getting our usual “service” – which we will forever blame on our “tourist-like” fashion and the 7 Nike shopping bags hanging from our shoulders.
We continue our trek along the streets of Hollywood in route back to our hotel. Someone seems to be craving one last sippie. Lucky enough, we were right outside of a liquor store.
Savannah goes inside to purchase a bottle of white wine, red cups and a bottle opener, while the rest of us stood outside talking to these two, well-manicured guys, who pulled up in a Mercedes G-Wagon and happened to be in love. As Bri is indulging in one of her guilty pleasures (bumming a cigarette off random men and failing to smoke it properly), Sav comes out and opens up the bottle of wine on the side of Sunset Blvd – a true BB tradition.
The parade continues….walking, red cups in hand, waving and smiling to the honks of cars driving by.
We’re still wondering how we got away with all of this…. This is something I’ll never know, but then again- we seem to wonder how we get away with our “Saturday Shenanigans” more Sundays than not.
Needless to say we walked a bit further and finally raised our hands up in “Hail Mary” fashion and hopped into a taxi back to the Roosevelt. As we made our way through the lobby of our hotel, we continued to tell people about our “Nike Sponsorship”. I can confidently say, it was the best and only way to see the streets of Hollywood up close and personal….
TIP FOR THE WISE: After doing some research online, I found the best way to clean your Nike’s is to use a toothbrush, Dawn dish soap and cool water. Scrub the shoes with the dawn soap and toothbrush. Wipe with a cool, wet washcloth and then leave them out to air dry. Do not put them in the wash machine…. I repeat, DO NOT PUT THEM IN THE WASH MACHINE!